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Spring

  Spring is here and the grass is definitely greener. Literally and figuratively really. It just makes me happy for some reason that my lawn is trucking on like some kind of green machine. Not that I let it get to jungle length. Maybe I'm just happy to have a lawn. Things are going well. I know I usually only think of journaling when something is going wrong and I want to complain so try not to die of surprise dear readers. If there are any readers left out there.
  I've got another alien invader on the way. Which at first was pretty crushing. I wanted to be done with babies, potty training, the crying, the pooping. Maybe it's the hormones, but I'm feeling pretty ok with it now. I've barely taken a breath and the other two are already little people. I'm really not one of those joy filled mother types. I don't feel the urge to trumpet out to the world how my progeny are the next best thing since sliced bread. Sometimes, honestly I'm not even sure if I like being a parent. It's stressful. They fight, they are disobedient, they want everything under the sun, sometimes they hate me but they're funny, they're smart, most of the time they love me more than I've ever been loved, and sometimes seeing through their innocent eyes really puts things into prospective. So, one more? I can do that. I can watch as he/she/alien molds itself into a person. Children are endlessly fascinating I think it's the pay off for the frustrating parts.
  I've finally made it to one of my long term goals. I'm living on the banks of the mighty Mississippi a stones throw from New Orleans proper. I've loved this place for as long as I can remember. I'm not on the side of the river I expected to be when I dreamed the dream years ago. But, I'm close enough for jacks. I'm out of that tiny little apartment and into a cute little house. I've got a yard! It's not huge but my own little speck of grass. I never realized how important grass was to me until I had sidewalks for the most part. I've got a Dragon. Well, he's a dog but his name is Dragon. SO there I have a dragon hah! How many people can say that.
  One of the best parts is in my cute little house there are no relatives. It's just us. For the first time since we've been married it's just us. As if that wasn't awesome enough there's more! For the first time in years Nathan actually does more at home than sleep. For so long we've lived a decent commute from his job or the job has been 16 hours a day. This is the most he's ever actually been home since we've been together. Aside from that brief period of time when he quit his job and moved to MS with me. The shoe was on the other foot at that point and I was working doubles to support us. So, really this is the most time we've spent with each other on a daily basis. It's pretty fricken sweet. I've actually seen him wash dishes and do a load of laundry. Totally creeped me out a bit. >.<
  So yeah...
Spring is here.

Communication

I do not understand. I am saddened. I struggle. I take it to heart. I do not understand. I fail to learn. 

So tired

I wake up exhausted, and hating the sun for continuing it's arc through the sky. It's a shiny new day. I've nothing to fill it. On days like this hopes and dreams taste like ashes smoldering on my tongue. I stretch the plastic into place over my face, and listen to your inane babble. It's easy to smile and nod in the correct places. I've known everything you had to say before you opened your mouth. I offer you the standard advice that you won't take. I validate your feelings for you. There there it's all better now...we're all humans here. I make noodles in the afternoon. They are good.

Purge

I'm back scoping out lj because I've been so lazy with updating over the last year. I got an email that was all "Deleting your journal if you won't use it you lazy sod." So yay.. I'm using it.

Thoughts

  Sometimes my indecisiveness bites me in the butt. Due to childbirth, life circumstances, etc... I've been a student at a junior college for far longer than anyone should be. I've taken part time classes, an odd semester off to give birth, and changed my major at least three times. Over the past few weeks on campus I've started to really feel "old". I've run into several people that are my younger sisters age just starting out as freshmen. It would be easy to feel overwhelmed and behind as this reality check smacks me square on the nose. Instead of freaking out though I'm opting to look at it for what it is... I could have quit, I could have gone faster, but I didn't make the choice to do those things. I'm there now and finally starting to really enjoy this process. I joined the science club this semester and even got elected as an officer. I'm doing well in most of my classes, except for math which has always been a love hate relationship for me. Mostly.... HATE. It's never too late to go for what you want. It just took me longer to figure out what it was that I wanted. 
  On that note it's time to finish my own personal Voyager marathon. I <3 my netflix... Yay!

Testing

 It's amazing the things we create online and then in a busy rush of what is affectionately known as "rl" forget that we've created. I wonder how many people still even use this service. First I had live journal, then I had myspace, now I've graduated up to a facebook and a twitter that I rarely use. I rarely write anymore and as I sit typing this I find that I've missed writing just to write something. Perhaps, I'll come back here after a less than 4 year span. 

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